ThinkWrite Challenge LXXVIIII

Question

I believe we're all familiar with the ThinkWrite Challenge rules by this point! Any theme, any form of the word past or present, and I'll set a word limit of 450 words.

Word List:

Despicable

Fragrance

Symphony

Rogue

Quotation

Valuable

Recent

Assist

Warmth

Convey

Comments

Nice list. Two weeks?

---

Oh yes sorry, I'll pick on the 19th.

---

Now what about the TW Challenge LXXX morshy???

---

I've been watching this too.... is the next TW challenge coming?  :)

---

It's up to morshy now to make the next one.

Answer 1

Word count 450. All words in the form above. It's been a while since I wrote anything, so apologies for the rust.

*************************************

The little room had the fragrance of death about it. Sterile yet decaying. There was nothing valuable in there, save perhaps the old rogue lying in the bed. There were tubes and monitors and compressors and valves and any number of things to assist his failing body with the rigours of living. The machines beeped and whirred and clunked, but the sound was not so much a symphony as a dirge. She stood at the door, a contemptuous sneer on her lips, constantly checking her watch as if she expected the old man to die any moment. She tapped her foot in impatience, sighed and pushed her hair under her hat. He’d had no recent visitors, no-one to convey sympathy at his condition. There were no flowers, get-well-soon cards or helium filled balloons tethered by brightly coloured ribbons. There was just the whir, the clunk and the inevitability of it all. She checked once more over her shoulder. There was no-one in the corridor, and for all she knew or cared no-one else in the building. Her favourite quotation rose, unbidden, and she smiled. It was Oppenheimer, the father of the atomic bomb. She stepped into the room, and any warmth there had been fled at her passing. A stillness descended, as if the room itself was appalled at her despicable intentions. She lifted the chart from the foot of the bed, pretending to study the notes, diagnosis and medical regime. Her pulse quickened, her breathing became shallow, sweat sprouted on her brow. She closed her eyes, called for focus and looked up to see the old man staring at her. She lifted the syringe, filled with succinylcholine, depressed the plunger and watched as the colourless liquid merged seamlessly with the saline drip. Breathing out slowly, she watched as the poison slowly got to work. It paralysed the old man, and shut down his central nervous system. He suffocated, and she knew it would show up on the death certificate as heart failure. She disengaged the syringe, pocketing it for later disposal. A quick, nervous glance round the room, checking everything was in place. She nodded to herself, and closed the door behind her as she walked down the hall, just another nurse in a private hospital, albeit one walking towards a multi-million dollar inheritance, thanks to dear old dad. She caught herself before she laughed out loud, the sound would be incongruous in this living mausoleum. Her white trainers squeaked as she made her way down the corridor, hugging herself. Her father’s words drifted up from somewhere: “You are my Anielka, my angel”. And the irony was not lost on her, messenger of God, delivering the coup de grace.

Comments

The imagery in this is amazing, morshy. I especially admire the opening sentences, "The little room had the fragrance of death about it. Sterile yet decaying." It really sets the scene well, explaining that it is a hospital without saying it outright.
One thing I will suggest is taking out some parts where you do say things outright, instead of letting the description speak for itself. For example: "He’d had no recent visitors, no-one to convey sympathy at his condition. There were no flowers, get-well-soon cards or helium filled balloons tethered by brightly coloured ribbons." I think the second part could stand on it's own, without the first sentence telling us exactly what to take from this information. Maybe adding ", as there were in the rooms of her other patients." at the end would suggest the fact that no one cared or was sympathetic for him.
This, of course, is just an opinion. And even as it is, the story is very well done. All in all, I thought this was excellent. :)

---

You're forgetting, WoN that there is a wordlist and that sentence contains two of them. ;)
Personally, I wouldn't change a thing. I think you did an awesome job. As WoN said, your imagery is amazing and I think you use one of the most extensive vocabularies on here. Good job!

---

Thanks for the feedback. I don't have a home computer at the moment. The above story was written in my lunch break, in around 30 minutes. No editing, other then spell check and word count. As a process, all I do is note the required words, let a story form, and write it on the hoof. While I appreciate the comments, I'll probably just leave everything as it is. Not bad for the first thing I've written in about 6 months :)

Thanks again

---

Oh yeah! I didn't even notice that it had two of the words. haha.

---

Morhsy, it's your turn to write the next thinkwrite challenge xD People are getting antsy.

---

Thanks for choosing my entry.

I've just returned to work after the festive period, so this is the fist chance I've had to look at TW.

I'll post something later today, and go from there.

Thanks again.

Answer 2

TW Challenge LXXIX

The symphony ended and after much applause the audience drifted out of the warmth of the auditorium and into the cold night air. It had been one of the best performances of recent months and you could feel the excitement as the crowd moved down the street. Taxis seem to appear from nowhere to convey people home, while others sought out bars and restaurants. Everyone was chatting excitedly and the magic of the performance carried on in their minds.

This had been a traditional classic, with none of the rogue discordant notes so loved by the avent garde modernists. The music had thrilled the soul and assisted in lifting the spirits to a higher plain. Perhaps in these hard times someone might learn this valuable lesson. What was wanted was tradition works that attracted crowds, not the despicable and incomprehensible pieces that had left so many seats unoccupied for so long.

As the people dispersed they seemed to carry some of the performance along with them. It was like the fragrance of a rose bush carried on a gentle breeze, sweet and intoxicating, yet at a distance the source unknown. A few hummed the tunes as they walked along, spreading their enjoyment far and wide. Long into the night you could still feel the sentiment of the music and as dawn rose over the city the next day, the last faint echoes still lingered as people returned to work.

Critics are critics; and music critics are worst of all. They are never really interested in ordinary people and simple pleasures. Where was the skill in simply playing well to an enthralled audience? What was advanced by the performance of well know cantatas or overtures? So, as would be expected, they used their usual phrases and quotations to belittle the only popular rendition of the season. Within a week the concert hall was almost empty again and the sweet harmonies all displaced by pompous parodies to much critical acclaim.

Comments

Wow, Saxon. This is really well done. And it has a good message as well! I did find that the ending came a little out of nowhere, but that is where the point of the story is, so I think it does fit just fine.

---

Thank you

---

I agree with WoN. And it was very musical! :)

Answer 3

Emily meandered down the snowy road, hoping for warmth to come soon, for she was walking home from her beloved school. Emily hoped she could be in the symphony someday, so she was lugging along her valuble violin in the harsh wind. The cold air nipped at her face as she rounded the bend to her house. Finally, she aproached her house, where her dispicable grandmother lived with them. She gulped and trudged into the house. The sweet fragrance of baking brownies made her smile. Even though her grandmother was bitter, she still made the best brownies in the world. So, as she sauntered into te cozy kitchen she collaped into her mother's arms, breathing in her sweet-smelling perfume.

Comments

i hope u all liked my writing. I didnt use some of the words because i didn't really know what they meant. Plz like it!

---

I did like this, ross19. It was a cute little story. :)

If you need to know what a word means a good thing to do is go to google.ca and search "define: word" and it will tell you what it means. For example, "define: quotation" will tell you what quotation means.

---

It's a very nice story and I think you did a great job with the words you dud use. Maybe you can use this oportunity to find out what the other words mean and add them to the story