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Finish The Story no.1

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I am going to write a lil' Paragraph or something, and you will have to finish it/continue it.

This is the first version (that I am doing) of 'Finish The Story' Cos there are going to be more challenges that I am going to do on 'Finish The Story'.

The competition has no maximum of words, but it does have a time limit.

And the time limit is either 30 or 31 July, so you have plenty of time to enter, but it is probably going to be 31st July.

The story's title is: The Adventure of a Lifetime!

I was going through The Daily Newspaper where a Competition caught my eye. I stop, to look at it.
'Holiday of a lifetime? It's one big lifetime opportunity that you can never miss... You can never get it but this time, this is a big chance...
To win, enter one sentence on why you deserve to go'.

'Hmm... interesting!' I say to myself.

So I entered. My sentence was:
Because I have never been abroad, I live on my own, and have no family, I never have time to rest, and to have fun, this is my only chance in life, and I should not miss this!

2 weeks later, I got a mail...

I WON!!!!!!!!! WELL, MORE THAN 1 PESON ONE BUT I WON!!!! I was soo happy, it was the highlight of my life. It was going to be so fun! I quickly pack my bags, as the flight was next week.

I met lots of people at the Airport, and became friends with some.

I sat beside two new friends that I met, but one went and switched seats with someone else because she/he (this isn't part of the story but choose either boy or girl, up to you) wanted to sit beside her best friend who was going too!

We had soo much fun in the plane together!

But... When I got off the plane...

 

That is all to the paragraph that YOU have to continue on! You can even add more bits to  my one, it does not have to be the exact, accurate words, you can change things around!

I just did mine in a hurry, cuz I did not want to make the paragraph long because then the whole story would turn out very long!

 

PLEASE ENTER, AND GOOD LUCK!
set Jul 1, 2011 by CherryBabe (280 points)
I am now thinking off 'Finish The Story No.2'
Thanks, Lolly. I look forward to seeing what you come up with next and entering your "Finish The Story No. 2". =D
Again, your welcome :)
And I am so confused!!!! I don't know what to do for 'Finish The Story No.2!'
I almost published a Mystery challenge (not a 'finish the story'), But I think it was too long so it wasn't published. And I spent like more than an hour on it!! I now wish I had done it on Microsoft Word first. Then pasted it. And cos it was too long, I coulda shortened it!! I now know . From now on I will do all my stories and challenges on Microsoft first as scrap and everything.
It probably wasn't too long. What probably happened is that you timed out because you too so long to write it. Also, sometimes ThinkWrite just freezes and doesn't publish. I've been told that you just need to refresh and then it goes through. For me that sometimes works and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it works after five refreshes.
In any case, writing in Word is probably the best idea, because you won't loose anything, but if you write directly into TW and it happens again, try refreshing, maybe you can save it that way. :^)
Thanks, Spots. I just got a little upset. You know, cos I spent lots of my time on it.
And yes, I also said that. The best thing is to do it on Word.
But I also got sad because it was very well prepared and everything :(

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// Continuing from yours, I didn't include your whole paragraph, just started from where you left off!

 

When I got off the plane, Jordan told me that he was going to a restaurant, if I wanted to join.

“Nah, I’m going to look around at some of the little shops before I eat. I’ll meet you at the hotel tonight.”

“Why don’t we just meet in a couple hours? I’ll eat, you shop, and then we’ll get to the hotel early to tell them we want a room together.”

“Deal,” I said, smiling, “we better get there quick or there will only be single beds left!”

“Oui, monsieur,” Jordan said in a mock French accent, “and then we explore Paris, mon ami! Find les femmes!”

We laughed and parted. Jordan was a rare breed: strong, intelligent, funny, I’d even call him handsome if I had any interest in him that way. Anyway, he was fun; I liked him. We’d get along well, for sure.

I explored the airport for a while. When I finally entered a shop, the person behind the register said a loud hello in a French accent. When I waved at him, he went back to his work. The shelves of his shop were littered with miniature metal Eiffel Towers in all sizes and - I was surprised to see - in a variety of colours too. I grabbed a medium-sized pink one and thought it would be the perfect gift for my girlfriend back home… if I had one. I put it back on the shelf and walked away.

In the next aisle there were more miniature statues of all kinds; all with a European theme, of course. There were small Arc De Triomphes, Big Bens, Leaning Towers of Piza, and a few models of some Grecian architecture.

I looked at the souvenirs with a mild distaste. Perhaps if I had anyone back home to give it to, perhaps then I could enjoy looking at all the mini statues, debating which to buy for whom. Right now, though, the tiny figures were just a constant reminder of my own loneliness, and I could feel myself losing grip on my emotions as I stared at all the gifts. I should be pleased. Here I was, in Paris for the first time ever. I had dreamed of this; I was a finally world traveller! And yet I was still spending the beginning of this trip wondering if it was a waste of my time. If it made me feel like this, I definitely didn’t want to stay.

“Excusez-moi monsieur, puis-je obtenir par la?”

I turned and smiled awkwardly. My schooling kicked in and I knew somewhere in my mind I knew how to say I couldn’t speak French. What were the words? Her eyes locked onto mine and I must have looked panicked because she smiled at me.

“No French? English?” her accent was as gorgeous as she was.

“Yes, yes, English! Thank you. I’m Justin.”

“Hello, Justin,” her voice made my name sound foreign and I couldn’t help smiling too.

“What is your name?”

“Cerise.”

“Beautiful.” I said, meaning it in more ways than one. As she turned away, I quickly added, “Cerise, are you busy tomorrow?”

“You need a guide? For the city?”

“Oui!” I said, and her laugh brightened up her face, “here is the address of my hotel, will you meet me there at noon? It is quite close to here.”

“I will meet you there,” she smiled and left the store.

Maybe this trip would be worth the time!
answered Aug 8, 2011 by workingoutaname (538 points)
edited Aug 9, 2011 by workingoutaname
I have not read it all yet, because I have gotten stuck and confused now. I only managed to read it to the end of the 7th paragraph.
1. You used two names in it: Jordon and Jason. There's only one person telling the story, right? And it is about two people? This is where I got stuck first. I think you meant to say Jordon where you said Jason. Because it all came together (Gosh this is hard to explain!), because you did not mention 3 people being in it. Did you make a mistake with those 2 names?
2. Are you a boy or girl telling the story? Because you were going to share a room with Jordon/Jason (!) and on the other hand on the 7th paragraph, that if you had a girlfriend you'd buy it. Which means you are a boy but I am totally confused. If you are a boy then are you gonna sleep with another boy? Is this a story about 2 gay people? Or I dunno... because this is very confusing.
You are mixing things a lot. I cannot finish reading the story, until I understand the beginning of the story, sorry. Can you first explain to me and answer all my questions first, before I read this all???
Oh and quick question if you don't mind! In real life, are you a boy or a girl?
Please answer as soon as cos I really want to finish reading this.
Very confused! :S
and in the 4th paragraph, where you said "their", i think you meant "there"
Okay, Lolly. I will address your concerns one at a time. (=
1. Oh wow, my bad!!! Yes, I meant Jordan when I said Jason. I have no clue why I would do that! haha - sorry, I will fix asap.
2. A boy in the story. The thing at the beginning is that they want to share a hotel room, but it doesn't mean they want to share a bed! I can see how that can be confusing, though. If you have suggestions to make it more understandable, please share them! (=
3. Yeah I did mean there. Geez, I NEVER make that mistake! I will fix that right now!
Hehe!! K, I get it! I will read the story all over again now! And after, I will judge!!
It'll be a tough job.
R u a boy or girl in real life? IF you dont mind me asking
I just read it. And OMG! It rocked!
You have a FABULOUS sense of writing! Anyone who reads this will think this story is written by a very famous Author.
I think I'll see this published one day!
Well done!
It'll be tough judging!!!
I loved the words! And also how you added french into it!
Awesome
Thank you for your praise, Lolly. I actually do hope to be a published author someday. =)
Haha your welcome!
If you do, then do tell me!!
lol, alright I'll be sure to let you know. ;)
:P ;) LOL
2 votes

(I'll just continue where you left off. Also, I'm sorry for the change in tone. Hopefully, you'll like it.)

When I got off the plane in Clacutta, there was an odd smell in the air. Something... just wasn't right. The airport people were going about in a busy way, the little cars drove around, the stewardesses smiled. But, it just didn't feel like it was supposed to. I probably sound like a lunatic to you, but I wasn't the only one who noticed. The girl, Sasha, that sat next to me on the plane, was looking around suspiciously. 
"You feel it too, don't you?" I asked her.
"Yes. What's going on?" she replied, with her eyes on the people around her. "It's like they're..." 
Her pause made me anxious, because I could already tell she knew more than I did. And she was right. It was the people. They were "...inhuman." I finished her sentence and she nodded. 
We kept close to each other on our way through the airport, wishing we took a train instead of a plane, so that we could get the hell out of here. The others in our group started getting nervous, too, although most of them seemed preocupied with their baggage and didn't seem to notice. That included our guide, a tall younge blonde with glasses and a clumsy walk. We took our bags and she led us to the bus, dropping her papers (a notebook and some maps) twice before she got on.
Me and Sasha took neighbouring seats and kept looking out the window. We hoped that the odd feeling would disappear when we left the airport, but it only got worse. The pedestrians walked like robots, emotionless and determined. They ignored us for the most part, but every once in a while one of them would look our way and stop. And it would just stare at us without moving, its face without any expression. It sent a chill down my spine.
We weren't halfway to the hotel when Sasha closed the curtains saying "I can't look at them anymore. They give me the creeps!" I agreed and we sat in silence while the bus drove on. I wanted to talk about it and I assume so did she, but neither of us said a word. We were afraid that mentioning it might bring their attention to us. And then the bus stopped.
Half relieved, half afraid, I stood up to get my bag when I noticed we were still on the road. I looked to the front to see why we stopped and heard the door open with a hiss. My body sat itself down while my mind raced through all the possible scenarios. A man's head appeared behind the front seats as he climbed the stairs. He had long black hair that hadn't been combed in days and a moustache that, for some reason, made him look like a Mexican. As the rest of him came up the stairs, I saw that he was dressed in full black, a long leather coat half open to reveal leather pants and a dark shirt. He looked like someone from a Hollywood movie, rather than a man from India, even a tourist. What was he doing here?
His eyes scanned each and every face as he moved towards us down the aisle. I couldn't understand why the driver was just sitting there and the others were paying him no mind. And then he raised his hand. His finger extended towards me felt like a barrel of a gun as he pointed it at me and said "You."
I screamed. 
Sasha kept pushing me and I couldn't understand why. Maybe she wanted to run and I was in her way. But she wasn't the one who needed to run. 
"Mindy," she kept repeating, poking at me and shaking my arm "Mindy, wake up!" Wait, what? I opened my eyes and the bright lights blinded me. Blinking, I managed to see the contours of a grinning face surrounded by two brown braids. Sasha. 
"Where is he?" I asked as I tried to get my bearings. This was too bright to be the bus and everyone was up and getting their things.
"Where is who?" she replied "Come on, we've landed. You were asleep."
It was a dream. I couldn't tell you how relieved I was. I took my things and got ready for the adventure of a lifetime.

answered Jul 2, 2011 by Spots (867 points)
edited Jul 3, 2011 by Spots
Wow, like that! I just have two things I wanted to clear, or perhaps one.
Well, you know the bit where it says "And it would just stare at us without moving, its face without any expression." ?
Well, I didn't quite understand the bit where it says "without moving, its face", because is the coma meant to be there right after "moving" ? Or was it a mistake, because I thought it didn't quite make sense.
And also, where it says "its face without...", well it's meant to be "it's".
And you spelt "couldn't" wrong, and I know that was by mistake, it happens to me too sometimes, because the "d" was before the "l" and I know that was a mistake, but I don't mind that.
Very good story, Spots!
Keep going with your hard work! :)
1. Yes, the comma is in the right place. I wanted to say that "it" (or the alien-looking person) wasn't moving. And that the face of that alien-person didn't have any expression. If I wanted to break it down into two sentences, I would say: "It would just stare at us without moving. Its face didn't have any expression."
2. "It's" is short from "it is" and "its" is what you write if you want to say something belongs to "it". So you would say "It's an apple.", but you would say "The dog was chasing its tail." Normally when you want to show possession, you would put an apostrophe, like "Sally's" or "dog's", but this is an exception. It's probably like that so that people can tell the difference between "it is" (it's) and "its".
3. I corrected the "coudln't". Thanks for pointing it out. :)
I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Oh yeah!
Btw, I know about the 'It's' and 'Its' thingy... But I think I just got muddled up!
But now I get it.
I just didn't read the sentence carefully, that's why.
:) You're welcome :)
Hi

I am not sure how to continue on the "Trip Around the World"...I just registered- so:

Do I continue the story here (OR) is this the comment section? LOL- sorry to be daft on this...

 

Thanks!
Welcome to ThinkWrite, hummingbird! Yes, you continue the story by hitting the respond button (just like you did to post this). The comment section is up above (where Lolly and I are talking about the challenge) and is for questions/feedback on the challenge or on a response.
If you have time, take some to read the guidelines for the site ( http://thinkwrites.com/3296/guidelines-and-help ). They explain a lot of how the site works and can surely help you get the hang of ThinkWrite in no time! And if you have problems, just ask around. Everyone's happy to help!
Just as a side note, if you hit the edit button, you can convert this response into a comment, which is really what it should be. It makes things easier to follow if it's all in the right place. Thanks!
And again, welcome!
--WON
TY so much, edited the response to a comment and after this one here will use the comment button instead of the response button from now on. I will try to get to this story later or tomorrow. I did 'respond' on the 10 word challenge story of 293 words or less and posted it, too LOL- thanks again looking forward to doing this as time allows, it is enjoyable.  Thanks again, Diana
Haha. Welcome to ThinkWrite, hummingbird, or shall I call you Diana ?
Anyway, yes yes... I was about to say all that what WON said.
If you want to post a story or you want to answer a challenge, you click to post a response, but if you want to ask a question or want to say something about the challenge, then you post a comment at the top, where the challenge is..
But if you want to ask a question or post some feedback on someone's response, then you post a comment on the response.
Enjoy your time on ThinkWrite!