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Once upon a time..........THE END.

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This is a free-form challenge where you have to fill in the dots. I mean literally. It can be about anything from nachos to the inexplicable characteristics of the Grand Canyon. There is no limit of words or anything. I will judge for the best on either the 16th or 17th of June.
set Jun 5, 2011 by Lemon (115 points)
edited Jun 5, 2011 by Lemon
Millie & Morgan
(true about Millie and Morgan, rest made up)

Once upon a time, a young tortoise called Morgan was wandering by the swamp, she had been thrown out of her hut by her mum, it was all her brothers fault though, he had gotten her into trouble every day, and now, he didn't even feel the slightest bit of shame for poor Morgan, so Morgan had been wandering by the swamp, feeling sorry for herself in the place with no life at all. Then a HUGE burst of energy came shooting out from beyond the trees, it was a fluffy white and grey rabbit, Morgan had the fright of her life, she had no idea this place had a bunny living in it, then 1,2,3 no, more that 5 rabbits came jumping out, much much bigger and plumper than Millie, Millie felt really sad and unwanted when ever she saw the rest of the rabbits, Millie was also much faster than the rest of them, Morgan crawled forwards to her and said, your'e just like me, feeling unwanted and lonely! come on, we could have so much fun, lets build a house, you can fetch some sticks, i will take care of bedding and comfort, when you are done wait here, i'll be as quick as i can. so they set off and came back, they came back and fixed the bits into place, then they set off for food, fun and extra. they soon had built a magical tower, they where best friends and had fun ever since!

THE      END.
another awesome story, scruff! ye know who i am dont ya? your best friend!!!
Time to judge!
Okay............ I'm going to  have to say that plr1103's response was the best, though all of you could have done it.
aww how? i read plr1103's one but didnt u like my one :(
I said that I liked everybody's but she was the best, just slightly.
ok but did u read mine and did u like it???
Yes, I like it. The story was good, but you could edit it a lot more to make it easier to understand.
Thanks, but how is it not easy to understand? I'm sorry, but I do not think so... I'll try reading it again, myself and see...

6 Responses

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Best response
Once upon a time, I started noticing my mother was somehow changing and quietly growing older.

She smiled secretly when she thought no one was looking. But I used to catch her at it. The room would be full of noise, and children, and the sounds of Christmas morning or Thanksgiving dinner. No one would be paying much attention to the gray-haired lady in the rocking chair. But she was watching it all, devouring the scene with her troubled hazel eyes. Then magically, the pinched, pained look would leave her face, and she would smile. At no one in particular - just a slight outward sign of an inner peace and warmth that came when she was surrounded by her family. My sister, me, our children. That was her whole life, her sole purpose for living. Somehow she could never say that out loud. But her face would say it - shout it - to anyone who took the time to notice. The last time I visited her, I noticed it a lot. Once I caught her peeking into my room late at night, like I was still a little girl. She couldn't tell that I was awake, but I watched her as she silently opened the door and looked in on me. And she smiled. It was as if she was reminding herself that her life had meaning. I cried that night, and no one ever knew. Mom never knew. I don't understand why she wasn't able to show us just how she felt, but she never did. Oh, she would say "I love you" and "I'm so proud of you," but the words seemed automatic somehow. And so did we when we answered, "I love you, too." Then we went on wrapping gifts, or making pies or admonishing the children to be quiet so Grandma could rest.

I don't think she wanted to rest.  I think she wanted to get down on the floor and play with the tinker toys and building blocks. I think she wanted to be up to her knuckles in pie dough and flour or force her swollen arthritic fingers to cut ribbons and stick bows on packages. But as quickly as the smile came, it would fade, leaving her eyes vacant and her mouth pursed. The pain would return, and no one even noticed that it had been gone for a moment.

Well, I noticed. And I said nothing. Now she is gone, and I can't tell her that I understood. I would give anything to be able to see that smile one more time.  I hope this is a special way to acknowledge the end.
answered Jun 11, 2011 by plr1103 (143 points)
BTW, I like how you mix your stories with what actually happened with you in real life, and then you maybe add some things to it, am I right? I think it is a very good idea. I sometimes do that too, but I change it around a lot, and I get ideas from other stories and television programmes.
Maybe some day I'll respond to a challenge that seems to be part of the life experiences I mentioned, and it will all become more clear.  I have been writing stories since I was very young (ten or eleven), and most of them were pure fiction back then.  Now true and fiction frequently intertwine or embelish each other.  Ideas can come from everywhere.  One of the most enjoyable things to me is interaction with other people who comment on my responses -- and all comments are instructive and helpful.  So, thanks to Lolly and Lemon and Spots and any others I may have missed here.  It is good to be part of this group!
Thanks. plr1103! I'm glad and happy you mentioned my name as a part of an online group!
And I really liked that message
Welcome to ThinkWrite, plr1103!   :^)
:) :) :)
0 votes

 

A Cat's Tale
 
Once upon a time the children found a tiny white kitten wearing a cape of brown and black fur.  His name was Riho Oki San.  They did not know where he had come from, and he only knew that his mother had told him to sit under the car and wait for the people that needed him.  “Let’s take him home to Mother,” the girl said, “She wants a kitten.  He is so cute, with his bandit mask and pink nose, she will love him.”  
And so, he had a new home.  His kitten days were peaceful, as the demons had left this house alone.  But that happy state would not last forever.  
They named him Diego, after a cartoon character, in spite of his attempts to meow his name.  He refused to answer to this, or to the demeaning kitty-kitty humans often use, which gave him sneezing fits of laughter.  Finally, when he was nine months old he was able to tell the girl his real name in a dream, Riho Oki San.  The rest of the family agreed to the new name, but as it was rather cumbersome, shortened it to Ryoko.  This was acceptable and he responded happily, his satisfaction shining in his bright green eyes.
The trouble began with a white fur ball named Inuyasha, bought at a pet store to be his companion.  He recognized her true nature at the start. She was part demon, although she fought to control the evil in her.  He tried to help her through love and reason but her demon side kept getting stronger.  When he caught her conversing with vermin by the basement door, they fought.  Ryoko sustained wounds that would not heal without the help of a human doctor, but was determined not to give in.  As their animosity grew more intense, the unsuspecting parents decided to find another home for Inuyasha, thinking the two cats just incompatible.  What happened to the new family after adopting her is another story, which we will not dwell upon now.
After the white demon cat opened the door to them, vermin and demons were increasingly attracted to the house and Ryoko’s true purpose in being there became evident.  For several months he spent his nights protecting the family and his days exhausted, often napping on their laps.  Thinking he needed exercise (little did they know) the family brought home another kitten, Lucia.  She could leap and spin high in the air and the children nicknamed her Ninja.  He fell in love with her immediately.  Black as night, with golden eyes that shown as beacons to ward off evil, she shared his hatred of vermin and demons, and an alliance was born.  Together they drove away the darkness that threatened the household, and with peace and tranquility re-established, grew old together in happiness. THE END.
answered Jun 5, 2011 by bye (133 points)
edited Jun 7, 2011 by bye
I liked a lot. You really payed attention to the part where I said any type, didn't you. You used so many different words than regular, and that's what made it sound so good. It was all serious. Just watch out for "neededvexercise", "hervNinja", and "goldenbeyes"
Fixed it. Too hasty editing, in the dark, of a copy and paste from notepad. Thanks for the kind words and the heads-up on the typos.
THAT WAS SEREOUSELY... AWESOMNE!
Em... bye, are you Lenore? How did you change your name?!
I'm so confused :S
1 vote

Unforgotten Day

Once upon a time, I believe it was a Friday and raining. I just got home from school. Mom was getting ready to go. "Mom where are you going?" I asked her while taking a spoonful of rice. "It's a secret. Just wait for me. Ok?" She answered. "Ok," I said while thinking 'Where is she going?'. So she went off. I continued eating. After about 30 minutes, Mom was back. I looked out. There was a cage. Judging by it's size, it was a dog's cage. I went outside. I found my mom talking to my grandmother while carrying something. "Mom, what is that?" I took a peek. 'Oh my gosh, it's a puppy.' I thought. I reached out my hand to it and it began sniffing my hand.  I couldn't stop smiling. I began patting it's head. The beginning of something new. The End.

answered Jun 7, 2011 by newbieguitarist (83 points)
edited Jun 12, 2011 by newbieguitarist
It's great! Nice and short but to the point. Also watch out for "heaad". Just saying, but otherwise it's great! Both you and lenore are well on your way to being selected as the best!
0 votes

Once upon a time, I was running for my life. Someone was following me and I don't know who or why. Maybe you thought that I'm paranoid. So yeah, maybe I'm a little bit paranoid but that's not the point. So, I was running. I stumbled because of a log. "Charm, wait!" A voice shouted, somehow very familiar. I could sense the owner of the voice was near. I saw him. It was Dustin. The one I adore and maybe, the one I love. "Hey," He said, breathless. Then he looked at my foot. It looked sprained. "What happened?" He asked wide-eyed. "I stumbled upon a log." I whispered. I was biting my tongue to stop the tears from flowing. "Let me help you sit up." He said, kneeling beside me. "No, you don't need to." I stopped him even though inside I wanted him to help me. "No, I'm going to help because I was the reason you ran and stumbled." He said, while helping me up. "Thanks," I said, quietly. "It's nothing." He sat beside me. I looked at him, he looked at me. We began to stare at each other like two people sick in the head. "We better get going." He broke the staring contest. I began to stand then fell on him. Our lips touched. I felt like I was in heaven. I sat up. "Ow." I said closing my eyes because of the pain. He held out his hand. "C'mon." He said, grinning. I smiled too. He helped me walk to my house. We were already there. "Bye." I said. "Bye." He answered. I took his face with both hands to the level of my face. I brushed his lips. Then we parted. I smiled at him and his breathless face for a second, then went inside.

THE END.

answered Jun 12, 2011 by newbieguitarist (83 points)
edited Jun 17, 2011 by newbieguitarist
Very good, except for "folllowing". I'm sorry if I'm really picky about grammar or spelling, I really can't help it.
0 votes
Aww!

Once upon a time, there lived Sunny and Filip. They had two children, Lei and Molly. Sunny and Filip weren't that old yet, but time...

They laughed and laughed and laughed... Until their laugh grew week and sad. But no matter how old they got, they never showed their pain to their children. They still had a faint smile. No matter how much they tried not to show it, Lei and Molly knew their pain deep down.

Soon, Lei and Molly had graduated from University and had completed their studies. Their parents cried out of happiness. They were so proud. But they were the reason it all happened because without their support, Lei and Molly would not be able to do all that.

Lei found a full time job, while Molly did part time so she could also look after their parents. Lei also did everything he could. He did part time for money and so they could buy food and stuff. He was off in the weekends when they all spent time together.

One day when Molly came home from work, she saw that her parents weren't well. They said they were OK but Molly knew something was the matter.

The next morning came a hospital report. Molly opened it and the minute she read it, she fell down. She started crying. She found that both her parents had cancer. They needed 500 dollars for the treatment. Molly found that Lei was awake. Molly told Lei about it and together they decided that Molly could stay home and look after their parents but she could still do a job at home and Lei could still work full time. Lei and Molly did not tell their parents about this.

Together, Lei and Molly did everything they could to arrange the money.

One day a phone call came from the doctor. He told them there was only a short time left for the treatment otherwise their parents.....                                                                           So Lei and Molly worked harder. The doctor phoned again and told them there was only a week left for the arrangement otherwise he would not do the treatment.

One day, Molly went to the shop at the corner to buy some food, while Lei was at work and their parents were at home, resting. When she came back, she saw all the neighbours crowded outside her house. They looked sad and quiet. When they saw Molly, they murmered something to each other. She asked what happened but nobody replied. She dropped her shopping bags and ran into the house. Molly found that her parents were lying silently on the floor. "Wake up, wake up! You're still there, aren't you?" Molly started to cry. A sudden noise came. The Ambulance was here. "No wait! You can't just take my parents away like this! They're fine, they're just, just sleeping" She shouted. She ran after the Ambulance but it went. Molly was shattered. She quickly phoned up Lei and he ran home. He told Molly that the money just got arranged and now...

Both were very sad, especially Molly. But they both never forgot that they were the reason they had everything.They never forgot them and kept them as a memory for their whole life.

THE END
answered Jun 16, 2011 by CherryBabe (280 points)
0 votes
i need to learn how to post can one of ya'll help me
answered Nov 13, 2011 by jdog (14 points)
Hey jdog, welcome to ThinkWrite!
We'll all be happy to help you get the hang of things here. This challenge was up a while ago: http://thinkwrites.com/3296/guidelines-and-help and it is a list of things to keep in mind when posting but it also explains how and what to post. Anyway, if you read through it you'll know everything there is to know (hopefully!). If you need any more help, we're all just a comment or a personal message away! =)