The Dog, Who Ran Away

Question

A car whizzed by and blew me across the road into a yard full of kids. ''Look over there!'' shouted a little boy. He ran toward me. A bigger girl followed him. I ran over past them where the rest of the kids on the porch. They all crowded around me and rubbed my back. "He's so soft!" shouted the girl. "Guys!'shouted one boy."Just let him go!''Smart boy, I thought. The kids let go of me and I sprinted off of the steps. I ran around and the saw a .... SQUIRREL! I ran over to where the squirrel was and chased it across the road. The children ran over to the side of the road and started calling the name, "Joe". I sprinted through the woods and through many yards. The children kept on chasing me. Soon enough, another older girl was in the group. They were getting close now. The oldest girl pounced and caught me. They got a leash and walked me down to the lake. Four of the kids started picking catails and braking them apart. After that we went to the oldest girls' house and the people fed me food and water. Then they led me outside. The youngest girl was waiting there. The two people talked and then then the girl ran inside and came back out. Then the two people talked some more. A couple minuetes later an older woman walked out of the house. She examined me and petted me and then she talked to the two humans. The small girl took me inside into her house. She picked me up and layed me beside her. She picked up her book and read.

That morning the girl left, then the boy, then the dad. All that was left was me and the woman. Then I lied down on the couch and took a nice nap. When I woke up I was in my owners arms. They found me! I licked my owners face. My owner talked to the lady and then left. I was glad to be home. It's tough being a dog.

 

Answer 1

Was this a challenge or a classroom assignment? What's the word count? When is it due? What is the hook? I think you may be confused about what a challenge actually is.

Comments

I think the "kiddie demons" have descended upon us once again.  Or maybe the challenge is trying to figure out just what the heck the "challenge" is.  By the way, don't worry about our little "k".  It is resting behind the scenes, zapped as promised.

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Hey that is cyberbullying! Stop that maybe she wants to share a story and have up comment GOOD things about her story or post a story we typed!

  Aud:)

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ThinkWrite is intended for the purpose of allowing writers to write which you slightly pointed out, lilymuffin. However, in order to get people involved, challenges are set up so all can "compete" against each other by THINKING about the topic and trying to meet it. This is what I was asking in my response to ross19. Perhaps I should have continued by explaining what a challenge is. The other intent is to critique the story that is submitted in terms of it meeting the criteria of the challenge. Receiving constructive criticism is the way a writer improves his or her skill. My comment was not criticism by any means. I like to write. I saw the title and wanted to possibly participate in the challenge only to find a story. If one of us has a story to write and wants to post it there is the category for that. If you felt I was bullying by asking for clarification so that I too may participate in a challenge, I am sorry for the misunderstanding. However, what we do do here is offer positive constructive criticism when a writer needs it, and I must say, your writing is unique, which can be a good thing in a story. In terms of communication, it seems to miss the finer points of grammar, syntax, and punctuation. A criticism can be much more effective if it is well written and clearly explains the problem.

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STOP STOP STOP STOP

Answer 2

I stole your idea of putting the dog in 'first person'.  Sorry bout that.

 

I led a very cushy life in my old neighborhood.  I was very well fed and loved.  I had plenty of room to run and I knew all of the neighbors.  What else could I possibly want?  But things changed fast.

Kirk got that big promotion at work and now Nancy was free to quit her job, so we moved up to the suburbs.  We even got a new car.  I liked it there until I met Nancy's new "friends".  There was something evil and perverse about them.  They looked normal enough, but my senses told me differently.  Little did I know about the true depths of their insanity.

With all of Nancy's free time, she ended up taking me to the park a lot.  I saw a bitch I liked and approached her slowly with my head down.  When I looked up at her, I wanted to run away in fear.  It was the Jameson's poodle Zulu and she looked fine except for the wig and the doggy skirt she was wearing.  She even had earrings.  Bows everywhere - if you get my drift.  She was frightfully ugly and Bob Jameson was fawning over her like cheap jewelry.

It got worse.  One week later, Nancy had me try out a couple of outfits.  Oh, God.  One day I was a football player and another day a clown.  The next time I saw Zulu, I could understand the sadness in her eyes.  We actually became friends in this surrealistic nightmare.  She opened up to me.

"I'll let you in on something very deep."  she told me.  "Our masters are freaks.  They didn't fit into their old neighborhoods and they don't fit in here either.  They parade us around like we are the last thing left of their lost dreams.  They've lost their minds."

I said "Let's just run away from this madness, Zulu.  Just you and me.  This charade is even driving ME crazy and the helmet itches my ears.  Also, I want to see the real you."

"Not yet, my dear.  You have to learn to pity them as I do.  Maybe someday when you can trade in your anger for sympathy, I'll leave with you.  They're relatively harmless.  Now go back to your Nancy and I'll see you tomorrow."

Then she kissed me (a slobbery good one).  I had to close my eyes to keep from looking at her grotesque face.  Today it was huge eyelashes and purple lipstick.  I walked away whimpering  "No wonder dogs bite people".

Comments

You know, giraffe, I don't think ross19 really exists. I think it was a joke to write something and see if others responded. I got no answer to my questions except that doug thinks it's kiddie demons again and I believe he's right on that. I do like your story a lot better anyway and I will give you a + vote for creativity and cleverness. I like the stuff you write and look forward to seeing more of it.

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Now I get it, EmyO.  Kiddie demons.  You guys are probably right.  Thanks for the compliment.

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giraffe:  Ya' know there are two of us with "zappers" :)  Part of the reason the benevolent Rachel bestowed them upon us was to rid the site of kiddie demonology.  Seriously, it would be nice to have a writing site with challenges that require some thought and not just mindless babble.

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i exsist!

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i just dont know what 2 do. i dont know what a challenge is. but i do exist. i am ross on td.

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it is fine

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Welcome ross, I'm gremmy from TD and I apologize for the criticism that has raised this brouhaha. I responded as I did because I too did not know what a challenge was and learned the hard way. Anyway, when you place a challenge as you can see from reading the other previous challenges, you ask the writers to write a certain number of words on a specific topic or challenge (see doug's current challenge). Set a date (usually 2 weeks) for completion and wait for people to respond. Your board will have stars next to the entries so that you select a winner (new torch bearer) by clicking on that star. That raises the story/poem you selected to the top and marks it Best Response. Go through a few of the challenges so you can get a feel for what gets responses. Some of the things I entered went bust and got no response. Better responses come from being more focused causing the writers to think, hence, thinkwrite. Welcome and good luck.