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ThinkWrite LXVII

2 votes
I didn't even pick these words.   I let my ten year old son pick them.  When I see his spelling words each week that he has to memorize for school, sometimes I gasp.  Have fun with it!  The words can be used in any style of writing, but the word count must be exactly 317.

 

Here are your words:

 

Blizzard

Waterfall

Sand

Moonlight

Graceful

Shadow

Lifeless

Belief

Photogragh

Friend

I'll give you until Mar. 31st for entries.  Discussions about the technical aspects of the entries are welcome as are any other discussions that may pop up :)
set Mar 10, 2011 by doug (883 points)
I'm looking forward to writing for this one, doug!  :D  Great word list... and I'm kind of happy to see the "strict" word count back again... it's nice, even though it makes it a bit harder.  :D
Me too!  I think this word list might be right up your alley.  I, on the other hand, am trying to think how I can warp it into something macabre :)
Still plenty of time folks....cough, cough...giraffe, etc.  Let's get some more stories in.  I haven't either, so I'd better get busy.
Only a couple of more days folks till the torch is passed.
Hmmm... perhaps I can find another story... just maybe...

6 Responses

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Best response
Deep within the shadows, watching the happy people swirl round the fire like a blizzard, a still figure crouched, hiding beneath the moonlight, trying to forget the dull, lifeless feeling within her.

She put her back against a tree and sat on the uneven sandy ground, clasping her hands about her knees.  She drifted into unwelcome thought for a long moment, then suddenly raised her eyes to the sky.

Above the earth shone the moon, casting a bright waterfall of light on the trees of the forest.  The beautiful round disk was rising slowly, gracefully into her glorious nightly kingdom.

The girl could not draw her eyes from the marvelous vastness of the heavens.  This night was special, she understood that, and the others by the fire had faded into memory, like the ashes of a once dear photograph that you’ve forgotten.

 She searched the sky for stars, but could not find them, for they had all drifted away so as not to steal away from the moon and her intense beauty.  She looked so wonderful this evening, in her luminous silver glow, that the girl sent out a wish to her, knowing without a doubt that the moon would listen and do whatever was in her power to help the wish come true.  This belief brought a smile to the girl’s face and as she smiled up at the beautiful moon, she thought she looked lonely and sad, despite how lovely she was in all her radiance.  So the girl closed her eyes and called for the stars, wishing them to return and shine close around the moon and be her friends, so that she would not have to be alone during the long night.  The stars did her bidding and brought themselves nearer to the moon and they all shone together, and many wishes were made true, for the night truly was a wondrous one.
answered Mar 21, 2011 by ladyhwin (203 points)
I think you were thinking about the "super moon" when you wrote this one.  I'd like someone elses take on this, but I got "stuck" on the first paragraph.  It felt disjointed to me.  The whole story was a bit "sappy", but of course that is my opinion.  Anyone else want to "chime in" on this story?
I understand where you're coming from, doug.  The story, however, was written, not in the intent of an entry, but for a personal reason.  It worked perfectly for that, despite how it may sound to someone else.  I appreciate your comments though.. :)
I reread all of the stories and it was your story that stuck out the most.  I kind of panned it in the beginning, but after rereading it I was sucked into the beauty and wonder of the surroundings and the character.  I love the great outdoors and one of my favorite things about moving away from the city is that I can stand on my deck and watch the stars and feel the stillness and quiet of the night.  I give you the honor of being the torchbearer for the next ThinkWrite edition.
Thank you doug!!  I'm honored, very honored!!  :D

New TW edition should be up sometime today or tomorrow morning!  :)
http://www.thinkwrites.com/2788/thinkwrite-challenge-lxviii

New challenge is up!!  :D
0 votes

It was like looking at a photograph taken by a friend when I saw the waterfall that resulted from the melting snow cascading gracefully over the small hill. It wasn't a massive waterfall that crushed the tiny growth just beginning to sprout at the base of the hill where the eroding rocks formed a sandy base for the waterfall to land. It was gentle and graceful. Soothing in its flow, this small waterfall was the opposite of the storm that allowed it to be.

 

At the time of the blizzard, all I could do was curse the way my world went into shadows and a sense of lifelessness. My belief was that nothing good could come from something so smothering; something that just sucked life out of everything and buried things alive. But now, the waterfall was a living thing of beauty and gracefulness. To stand before such beauty I feel the presence of a greater power. Nothing gives this feeling more than seeing nature take its natural course. Where there had been bleakness and darkness, everything buried and being smothered, what takes its place, not really starting for any reason than to show something so deathly can bring a refreshing thing of beauty that cleanses and soothes. This part of nature provides life and offers itself to other parts of nature to refresh itself in its very being. This waterfall continues the lifecycle and renews the world for another go round.

And now, as the moonlight plays its rays upon the water and at the base that bounces with the cascades pressure, I can only be thankful for the beauty and goodness of my creator. His plan allows something of deadening power to revert to a thing of gentle beauty which always gives me renewed trust in the circle that we call life. Blizzard to waterfall, bleakness to gracefulness, the world goes around; life blossoms again.

answered Mar 10, 2011 by EmyO (274 points)
edited Mar 10, 2011 by EmyO
Phew, that was tough. I have never tried to write something with such a rigid word count. I tend to get wordy, but with articles counted, this piece of prose is exactly 317 words without a title. What was bad, I started out thinking you said 374 word count and reached that with very little problem, but whittling it down when I realized my error tightened things up well. Can I ask why such a rigid word count? I loved it, but it did make me work. I loved the spelling words list. Clever way to get a wordlist. Nice work, Doug.
Nice piece with lots of visuals that makes the reader feel part of the scene.  The ThinkWrite Challenge I am currently the torchbearer for goes back to the way ThinkWrite challenges were meant to be.  An exercise in editing brought on with an exact word count.  I'm glad you had to work at it.  It's easy to just type away, but it's the true "art" of editing that makes a story or any piece of writing memorable.  Thanks for asking.  I think we've gotten away from the origins of ThinkWrite too much.
0 votes
It was not that it was a long flight to Orlando, but it was the dullness that went with being squeezed into a cramped aircraft with strange people and bad food. Luckily the 200 pounder was sat several rows back and it was someone else’s turn to suffer. The food was as bad as always, lukewarm with a smell and taste somewhat like vomit; the coffee was not much better. But that was all part of the vacation.

You needed the water parks for a break occasionally from the main attractions. The children’s fascination with the “Character Actors” was wonderful to watch for a while, but on the hundredth time even they were growing listless. Fast food, popcorn and long waits for short rides can only be endured for so long without a break and the water parks had clearly been designed with this in mind. So after a few days we drifted down to Blizzard Beach after a leisurely light breakfast.

The 200 pounder and his extended family, in Speedos and micro bikinis had, thankfully, gone somewhere else for the day, but there were others who made up for the loss. The water slides were too busy and the floating rings all too often drifted under an icy spray designed to remind you that holidays cannot be all fun. Ice cream and coke was consumed, much fun was had, but by midday the shadeless park was too hot for comfort. We returned to the surreal world of costumes and parades.

It was much later, after sunset and a good meal away from the International Drive that we were returning by a tortuous route jn a taxi when we again saw the water park. The waterfall at Blizzard Beach above the sand in the moonlight, looked graceful, a shadow lifeless and forlorn, with a self belief that would be more usual in a photograph of a friend.
answered Mar 13, 2011 by Saxon (664 points)
I don't know about this one Saxon.  It was like you were rushed or just going through the motions.  Not one of your best.  I kind of got lost because the flow wasn't there.  I think the way you put some of the sentences together and the grammar could have been improved.  Reread the story and you'll see what I mean.
Not my favourite either, just did it to fill in a spare half hour yesterday and help the challenge alomg a bit. Yes, it needs some of reworking, but I started it one way and it changed as I went along.  Anyway, it will help Emyo win if these are the only two entries, LOL.
So many members, so little work!
1 vote
So.. the list did NOT take me where I thought it might.  This piece is probably a bit confusing. Take what you want from it.  :)  317 on the dot.

 

Shadows had crept into most of the cave as Stephen heard the first of many footsteps close by.  Away in the distance he could hear the roar of the waterfall behind which this refuge was hidden.

Stephen brushed his shaggy hair back from his gleaming eyes.  He looked down at the small picture in his hand and recalled spending a dark gloomy evening, much like this one, in a lonely cabin in the midst of a raging blizzard.

He clenched his fist, fiercely crumpling the paper, and reached out with his other hand, touching with relief, the cool metal of his knife.

Another memory claimed his thoughts even as the footsteps drew nearer and his heart beat faster with every tread of those heavy-shod feet.  He saw in his mind’s eye, the sandy beach where he had seen her dance so gracefully beneath the moonlight.  Even now he smiled, remembering, but as always, the thought gave way to the dark forest where they had been pursued so relentlessly.  They had spurred their terrified horses, trying to escape the motors and gunshots.  When the horses had dropped dead of exhaustion, they had been caught, ensnared by the very one they worked for.  Harsh as he was to others, he was yet crueler to his own.

Stephen opened his hand and smoothed out the photograph.  The smile of Alethia, his friend and fellow assassin, burned into his mind. He knew where she was, lifeless and cold beneath the waterfall where she had fallen on their way up to this refuge, this home of their master, who had sent them on a mission from which they had been ordered not to return alive.  Their disobedience meant one thing only.

Stephen’s final belief in eternal hope vanished as the footsteps halted.

He heard clearly in the silence the unearthly click of the twenty machine guns behind the door.  His breath stopped.
answered Mar 17, 2011 by ladyhwin (203 points)
This was definately not a "ladyhwin" story and I loved it.  You did manage to get the horses in though :)  Full of vivid story images and action in such a constricting word count.  Bravo!
I suppose it's not.  :)  I wasn't sure if I got the idea across, but so far, its been liked, so I'm not going to change it.  Thank you!  :D  I'm working on a few more ideas that I can probably get in before the end of the month.  Great list and the word count is perfect... for my usual stories.  :)
1 vote

Walk with me, dear friend, to the dirty end of town. We'll pass the empty shops with shattered windowpanes: coruscant cracks spreading from a point like fireworks into the dark, but there are no celebrations here. The streetlights flickered out, long ago, how wasteful to illuminate the empty roads! We rely on the hazy moonlight and keep moving, collars turned up against the icy wind, against the sting of the blizzard that whips around us like frozen spite.

The army kept the peace when the trouble started, but a hungry populace will only stay obedient for so long before desperation sparks chaos. Dissent had built gradually, like shifting sand, grain by tiny grain until the landscape had changed irreparably. Riots broke out; the empty roads became battlefields, blood running into the sewer in a gruesome waterfall.

When the towns had been ransacked the fight moved to the farmland, because as the saying goes, “Steal a loaf and you'll eat for a day, but steal a farm and a gun if you want to see next week.”

We shuffle past the shadows of abandoned cars, impotent without fuel, lifeless husks under the drifting snow.

Some stayed behind: the elderly, the injured, the hopeful. Waiting for someone to take control, someone to fix the mess. That was you. Your unshakeable belief that everything would turn out all right in the end, that human nature would prevail and people would work together to rebuild their lives, their world.

Fool! Human nature prevailed.

Do you recognise where we are? Of course you do. The reassuringly solid stone walls and effortlessly graceful arches of the church, your sanctuary, refuge from the madness.

Look, to the front of the church, that small huddled shape motionless on the pew. Still clutching a photograph from a different life, your frozen rictus a mockery of the carefree smile shining from your past.

You know my name.

answered Mar 25, 2011 by Hobbes (25 points)
Hobbes:  This was a story I couldn't stop reading till the end and then I wanted more.  I loved the visuals as I felt like I was part of the story.  Being the macabre person I am the line, "blood running into the sewer in a gruesome waterfall" was especially fantastic.  What a sight!  Loved it!
0 votes

For Sale By Owner

317 Waterfall Street

Blizzard, NY 31799

Friends and neighbors this is a steal! Perched high on a bluff above the sandy beach of Moonlight Bay sits an A frame palace fit for a king. Photographs of graceful foliage and unbelievable wildlife have been featured in Homes and Gardens magazine. Don’t be a lifeless droll, jump in your car and follow the golden shadows of remarkable beauty.  

answered Mar 30, 2011 by doug (883 points)
I know, I know....not even close to the word count, but I couldn't resist as I was playing around with "Word".  I do believe all of the word list is intact in one form or other.