ThinkWrite LXV

Question

Dear ThinkWriters,

create a story using any form of the following words (listed alphabetically):

carousel	paper
faith	rose
feel	say
flame	whisper
glass	winter

Try to make it as close to 253 words as you can. I'm not very picky about word counts, think of it more as a guidance than an exact value (Why the three at the end, you ask then. Well, why not?).

Deadline: End of the month. 

That's all. Have fun!

Comments

I like it!!  I think I'll be writing now.  :)

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Your list of words is inspired, Spots.

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Don't feel like you've been forgotten Saxon.  It's nice to see five responses and not one from me.  I'll have mine in before the deadline or maybe a couple.  Carousel huh?

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Since I'm pretty sure there's many of you in the US and it's still morning there, I'll give you one more day and pass the torch tomorrow, in Europe's afternoon.

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Could someone point me to the new TW challenge?  I would love to write another piece... but don't know where to find "ThinkWrite"...?

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.  .  can't figure how you can be making this comment but not able to find Thinkwrites  (s on the end) --  does this help?   http://www.thinkwrites.com//

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Actually, I'm referring to the original ThinkWrite challenge (without the s on the end).  The one for which TD originally created this site...?  Those who participated in the threads on the TD forum would know what I'm speaking of... :)

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ladyhwin:  We're waiting on the new torchbearer EmyO to start the next ThinkWrite challenge LXVI.   If you are looking for the TD ThinkWrite challenges they should be over on the TD site under the community forums unless Rachel "hid" them.  It's great to see you and can't wait to read your stories.  There are plenty of other challenges going on if you are in dire need of a writing fix :)

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Thank you doug.  :)  Although I'm not sure what you mean, the TW challenges on TD?  I thought they had all been moved over here...  Thank you, it's great to be back.  I'm not in desperate need to write, just to find something to fill time between chapters of my book...

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Doug, HELP!!!! I want to make my Best Response award and pass the baton on two of three of my challenges but I don't know how to do that. You've been in this position, can you help me please? EmyO

Answer 1

I'll give it a try with this:

TRAVELING THE CAROUSEL

Joe took me into his arms for a quick hug of encouragement and whispered in my ear, "You don't have to do this alone. We're all here to help go through her things and get this job done. Her cousins and our boys want to help." But, I had to be alone with the feel of her presence in her own apartment. There were things I had to touch and think about that I didn't want to do when everyone was here.

As the five of them left for a slightly extended lunch break, I turned back to the chore at hand. Rose had died just a week ago from a massive coronary, alone in her apartment as usual. I was supposed to join her that morning to go shopping like we did as part of our "girls out" weekend. Joe knew that my job at home kind of dampened the flame of life for me and sent me to Rose's at least one weekend each month for the two of us to rekindle our flames.

When I couldn't reach her after calling most of the morning, I had to call her cousin who lived in the same condo. With it being winter, and the roads in places being covered with patches of black ice, I was worried that when Rose went out to pick up coffee and rolls she may have had an accident. Rose's cousin went to check on Rose and she'd called maintenance when she couldn't get in. That's when they found her in her shower...all life gone. Massive coronary was the description in her obituary in the local newspaper. The paper did go on to say that Rose had been a local teacher, loved by her students for more than 35 years. But they couldn't summarize who this special woman truly was. She was so much more than a few words on paper.

Thinking was not getting the work done as I turned and picked up the musical  carousel I'd given Rose for her 50th birthday just six weeks before. We laughed as the music played "Saturday in the Park," and the children rode the carousel. "This is to keep us young, Rose," I'd told her when she opened this gift from me.

"Have faith, Em," she'd replied, "You'll always be younger than me unless I die first." This was a joke between us since she was just five months older than me. We'd teased each other for years about our age difference, but the teasing was getting less funny and more real as we were getting older.

"Stop that. Don't joke that way. We're getting too close to the possibility," I'd said just to end the morbid line we were traveling. And suddenly I could see her reflection as I held up the snow globe carousel. Her picture on her bureau reflected into the glass and Rose was with me again laughing with the children riding the horses and sitting in swans. We were there as well.

"Well, Rose. You won't get any older, but I'm keeping this carousel so we'll both stay young forever." And I went on to pack a few more memories away before the others came back from their lunch.

 

@2011 OConnell

Comments

I like it. It's sad, but sweet. A bit long, but it fits the story. I'm glad you did a shorter one, too. One of the points of this challenge is to try to work within the set of parameters. It's clear you can write well, but can you do it under strict terms?
I like how you got across the main character traits, even for the character that wasn't physically present. It was a good read.
(I noticed a typo in the fourth paragraph. It's "rode", not "road".)

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Thank you, Spots. I knew as I wrote it that I was far exceeding the 253 words but I just couldn't catch the ambiance I wanted to create by honing it down to the word limit. It bothered me enough that I had to take time to write something shorter, and having it pointed out by Saxon pushed me into doing something shorter.
I love to write and having found Think Write has given me the spot I've been looking for. I do play at Think Draw, but art is not my strong point and writing gives me the creative network I need. I think you'll be seeing me more often in Challenges and what not...hopefully within the parameters set for the challenge. Thanks again. ---EmyO

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I'm glad to hear that. I think we will benefit from it as much as you will. :)

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It was very hard to choose the best response, every one of them had something special in it and every one almost got chosen. In the end I decided to hand you the torch, EmyO. Congrats.

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Spots, I thank you again. I just might take up writing after these kind words and thoughts. I need to glow in the flames my family are surrounding me. This is a real joy for the youngest, but the eyes of my 30 year old is shining too. He always took me for a writer. He feels so right now. Thanks again, . Spots. I am thrilled to have two torches in my ready to pass off...like tomorrow evening. Thanks. Everyone.

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Congrats on being the torchbearer, but your challenge should stand on its own and not be a ThinkWrite edition.  The ThinkWrite challenge is the original thread from which everything else evolved and has specific "rules".  Please refer back to previous ThinkWrites for help or just ask.  Please keep your other "challenge".  I had fun writing mine.

Answer 2

No subject matter?  I tossed in the air and got this.

SEAN'S CAR

I met Sean at 'The Carousel'.  Neither of us really belonged there, but there we were standing together leaning against the back wall.  To our left was a corridor into the back room.  Rose colored crepe-paper streamers invited us into the room where there was a huge drag show going on.  We could hear the loud music of Madonna, Donna Summers, Bette Midler etc. and just imagine some guy in a gaudy dress lip-synching to it with serious intentions.  We both laughed simultaneously.

Straight ahead was the bar.  Every seat was taken by guys in leather outfits and various stages of undress.

Sean spoke first.  "Well it's Saturday night.  Why ain't you dressed up all purty?"  We laughed again.

"You wouldn't believe my day!" I replied.  "First I broke a heel going up the stairs.  Then I couldn't squeeze my fat ass into my old chappes.  Have faith, girl, (I said to myself), you can just wear a Tshirt and jeans."

"Getting dressed is so traumatic, isn't it?  Hey, my name is Sean.  I teach English."  He offered a handshake.

"Hi, Sean.  I'm Paul.  What can I say?"  shaking his hand.  "I play piano for a bunch of lounge-lizzards at the 'Old Cutty Bar' downtown.  It's degrading."

"I feel ridiculous, too.  Imagine trying to relate to kids who think and live in Ebonics Land."

Just then the flame went out on the candle-jar behind us and Sean said to me in a loud whisper "Hey, let's get out of here, Paul."

"But what about my entourage?"  I was already busy fastening my coat.

"Let them eat cake.  Follow me."

Outside, the parking lot was icy like glass.  This winter had been cruel to all those drag queens in heels and the leather guys with their butts exposed.  In Sean's car, I wondered about the manly women and the punkish leather guys acting so tough.

"Don't fret about it." he said smiling.  I didn't even know where we were going.  I didn't care either.  I just moved a little closer and it's been like that for a long time. 

Comments

.  .  a little love story with a nice, sane, down-to-earth flavor --  the contrast with the image types works very nicely.  I think the title could be improved though.

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It seems like it's missing some depth. I had to use my imagination to define the characters and there is no real story. I've seen you write much much better.

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I get your point.  I was going for a sort of cross-section of societal "types" (in microcosm) and that didn't come across very well.  I may re-write this one.

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I'm looking forward to reading the rewrite.

Answer 3

Lost Luggage

The luggage carousels at airports are both a joy and a nightmare. It is an article of faith that your luggage will turn up, but you are always left with the feeling that it might not. Passions can be flamed by the delays and fears that your possessions are lost. Even the officials who sit in those glass boxes overseeing everything seem to add more fear than comfort to events. In the soulless voids of the baggage halls it is easy to lose touch with reality.

When unfortunately your worse fears are realised, then there is the paper chase with officialdom. You rise to the occasion but never seem to come out smelling of roses. No matter what you say there is always an answer to brush off your protests and delay matters further. You can rant and rave, shout or whisper, it makes no difference, your luggage remains lost. Or not so much lost as not with you!  Seasoned travellers all know it will turn up, eventually!

Summer can pass into winter, and winter into spring, but sooner or later you bags will reappear. They will no doubt have been opened, emptied, the contents thrown back in and, half hanging out, the case closed. Well, not so much closed as far as you are concerned, the case of the missing bags remains an open mystery until you are physically reunited with the bags themselves. At the end of your annual relaxing vacation, what better way to return to stressful reality!

Comments

And I can count to 253 better than some! LOL

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This is certainly not what I expected. It was a nice use of the word carousel, I assume inspired by recent experience. It made me laugh a little. Even though it's no laughing matter and the words in the story weren't encouraging, for some reason I got a positive vibe out of the whole thing, a sort of you-can't-change-it-so-don't-worry-about-it sort of thing. I don't know, maybe it's just me...

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Glad you liked it. I used to travel all over by plane, with occasionaly as many as a dozen flights a week, sometimes with three or more changes/legs over a days travel. I lost bags two or three times a year and knew the system well! They always turned up and you learned to be a disinterested observer; in the short term the airline always paid up!

Answer 4

The New Carousel

The new carousel which was under construction this past winter will have its unveiling and grand opening on the first day of Spring. The papers will be announcing the event and spark the flame of excitement in children of all ages in the weeks preceding the big day.

Festooned in plastic lanterns and garlands of not-so-real roses, the feeling of excitement is already running high. Area children are whispering plans of sneaking in early to peek the carousel. Some even have faith that if they stay close to the new carousel as opening day approaches, they'll get free test rides before everyone else. There are the typical cranky nay-sayers seeing the carousel as a waste of taxpayers money and something to cause nothing but traffic snarl ups.

And all the while the glass-eyed horses silently shuffle their hoofs in anticipation and faith that they will be the success almost every child is dreaming the new carousel will be.

Comments

Saxon, I can count lower than you, too. Hee hee hee ---Gremmy at TD

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Short and to the point. Not as deep as the first one, but just as good. I like how in all the responses the words seem to blend seamlessly into the story. Maybe I should have made a harder one. But, the last time I had the torch, people were having such a had time with the list that I wanted to be nicer this time.

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Your list was perfect. And hopefully there will be plenty of responses to the challenge. I look forward to newer ones and maybe I'll just go back to older ones for practice. Thanks for your comments. They are encouraging.

Answer 5

ON HIS DEATH BED

“Son” the grandfather said, to the confused twelve year old crying at his feat “The seasons constantly change, there is no stopping them.  Sumer will give way to fall. The cold will come. All ends. Spring will continue to follow winter for only so long.

“We all have a birth and an death, the glorious carnival we have all lived in is a state of disillusionment. The world is plunging towards the flame. The carousel continues to turn, us riders in blissful ignorance. The calliope plays, drowning out the voices of the few who choose to recognize what’s coming.“

“We are all wearing rose colored glasses that hide the reality of our predicament. We rely only on feelings and paper-thin notions of immortality and righteousness. Faith is checked at the door.

“But why” asked the boy’s father listening from the door, “What can you say? What words will shatter their false beliefs and save them from their ugly fate?

The old preacher lying on his deathbed released his last great piece of advice, “The sad truth is there is nothing you can do.”

“Yet you must keep screaming!” the son’s son exclaimed continuing his grandfather’s famous sermon, “There is always hope as long as you always speak

The now oldest male in the family completed it. “Who knows? Your voice may be the one that gets through; you might slow the carousel down just enough to allow them freedom. Your voice could be the first thing they truly hear."

Comments

Very deep. Nice use of the words and good definition of characters, all in a short story. For me it was hard to keep up with who was saying what, I had to keep going back, but I'm pretty sure that's just my tired brain. There's quite a bit of hope,  inspiration and motivation in this piece. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Answer 6

253 words, according to Word.  :)  It's a bit vague and I'm not satified with it, but.... it came out that way and I don't feel very obliged to change it...  no title.

 

Long years ago, history told of a magnificent carousel in the quiet city.  This marvel brought visitors from far off lands, who hoped they might find a seat upon it.  The fantastic prancing horses shimmered and flickered with many different colors, as though made of glass and flame.

One night, while the city slept peacefully, the beautiful piece of artwork was smashed to pieces, to the horror of everyone.  All but one of the beautiful horses was gone and the remaining one lay battered in the dirt.

The lord of the city had the frame of the carousel cleaned and polished, then covered with a black cloth in mourning, for the peace of the city had rested upon the structure.  The one remaining figure was borne into the castle where, legend says, it was laid to rest in the topmost tower, and with the horse, quiet disappeared.

Although the legend was to have taken place many years ago, and young George knew it, when he found a scrap of paper caught beneath the heavy black cloth, the burning desire in his heart was fed with whispers of a wish.  If one could but climb the tower on the first day of winter and touch the ancient horse, a star might fall.

And young George climbed, his entire being and soul filled with the faith that, with the star, peace might be restored.

The moon glinted down on the snow and the determined child, and shone most brightly down upon the rose-pink carousel horse.

Comments

Lovely story, I really enjoyed the feel of it. However, the ending seems a bit abrupt. It doesn't feel like an open ending that leaves the rest to your imagination, it just feels unfinished. I'd love to hear if anyone else feels the same way.

Answer 7

Spots:  Always a challenge with your word lists.  Bravo!

 

Faith

She was the perfect rose, yet with time her beauty wilted away.

She was my high school sweetheart; to her I was just that, “high school”. I sat across the room from her in biology and while Mr. Dixon rambled on about the infinite genetic possibilities, my eyes glazed over and my head filled with thoughts and fleeting pictures of her…by my side…the texture of her skin grazing against the hair on my arm. Winter snowflakes passed the classrooms’ windows, its glass panes scattering the reflections of her that I constantly craved. Another daydream…a moving carousel with the most divine calliope music streaming in every direction…Faith tethered onto a dancing horse with a blonde mane. I watch from the shadows as she laughs. I never say a word, the flame of desire building in my flesh as I watch her long hair flip wildly as the carousel whirls faster and faster…the image lost to a sharp rap to my hand from Mr. Dixon. Yes sir…pen on paper, yes sir.

I feel faith…I feel Faith.

I lost faith to a whispering whimsy…a “kids” fantasy…