ThinkWrite Challenge LVIII

Question

I suppose I have two persons to thank.  

Giraffe, *bows*, thank you for your kind words and for accepting me as the torch-bearer.  I am pleased and hope to make a delicious dinner out of my award.  You are invited to share it with me.  :D

Morshy, I am humbled that, being chosen yourself, you handed the torch to me.  It is rare that the elven queen receives such an honor and she gladly accepts it, but with a sweeping curtsy of course.  ;)  Thank you.

And now, to get this new challenge going.  We are at fifty-eight!  :D  

Your new ten words to work with are....

Seclude
Landscape
Irrelevent
Rose
Meander
Create
Lend
Structure
Bridge (or Abridge)
Sapphire

Any form of the words may be used and I'm a bit like giraffe, in that I'm not very strict about following rules...

To be considered, however, for the next passing of the torch, your composition must between 175 and 200 words.  Yes, it is a shorter word count, which is a challenge for me...  And I will read anything you put up, eligible or not.  :D

Thank you all... I will pass the torch to whomever I believe worthy of it on... November the Fifth.  A Friday.  You have a week and a half.  Have fun!

Yours truly,
The Smiling Elven Queen and her Contented Companion, the horse Lady Hwin

Comments

Love the word list.  As soon as I read it my mind started churning.

Answer 1

Love this list ladyhwin, it's the first one in a long while to inspire me to write not only 1 story but 2.  Here's my second offering, 191 not includind the title.

 

Fire

Everything was irrelevant before the fire.  It swept inexorably across the landscape, sometimes meandering slowly, but more often racing hungrily across the plains devouring everything in its path.  It had no prejudice and dined on soaring bridges or lowly hovels with equal relish.   All living things fled before its heat or perished within it.  All but one.  One lonely sleeper within a towering sapphire structure in a secluded glen, so long abandoned by her worshippers that there was no one left alive who remembered even her name let alone who had created the tower around her.  Forgotten by all others she was remembered by the fire.  It could feel her within her crystalline tower, it longed to be near her, to lend her its heat and for the first time in a millennium she stirred in her seemingly ceaseless slumber.  She longed for the fire too.  Everything was irrelevant before the fire, but as it burned down her sparkling abode and consumed her flesh everything became relevant again.  Her withered body perished but her new one rose from the ashes. The world shuddered and suddenly remembered the name Phoenix once again.

Comments

Dragon, wonderful work.  :)  I can't believe I didn't get it until the end, and I've always loved the Phoenix...

---

Congrats, Dragon.  Unfortunately, I have been ordered by the Grand PooPah of thinkWrite to leave the company of this group.  I'm glad there are other threads here to be expressive.  See you there.

I'd much rather hang out on different threads than get this daily string of hateful attitude in my emails.  Ron sure does know how to chase a person out of his Alpha territory.  Hope to see you and others around.  Elsewhere.

---

Good choice ladyhwin!  Dragon always does spin a great story.  I am particularly fond of the Phoenix to start with so it was a real joy.

Answer 2

And yes, I will be the first to post a story.  I took all the words from this little piece... and it is 199 words long...  :)  Enjoy


"The Fairy Bridge"
The wind meanders through the forest, sighing among the sapphire flowers that lie hidden beneath silver leaves.  A wide, but gently flowing brook makes its path through the trees, its shallow water tinted pink by the rose colored pebbles resting below.
In the midst of one particularly bright clump of trees, right where the little stream is singing its happiest, is a bridge.  It does not lead anywhere special, merely from this side of the water to the other.  This is cause enough to call it a fairy bridge, because only pixies will create something of such irrelevance.  The elves do not use it, for why step upon a wooden structure when you may wet your feet in the laughing brook and dance for the sheer joy of dancing?
On both sides, where the bridge meets the rich earth, moss is beginning to grow up and accept it as a part of the landscape.  Vines are slowly winding their way around the rails, covering the sides in silver and gold leaves. The trees close by are lending their branches as shade, creating a spot that is so completely secluded and beautiful as to make the perfect place to hide.

Comments

Lady, it's similar to Doug's last piece.  Idealistic, wishful and fantasy oriented.  There's a longing for peaceful comfort without blame or hostility.  Some day that might just be a reality on our planet.

---

I read this when it was first posted and it didn't quite register with me. Now I read ti again and I think it's awesome, keep it up.

Answer 3

WORKING GIRLS
 
They call me Thinker Wright  (Like I have all this wisdom).  Hah!  I just turned LVIII and they think I know all the ropes.  I just know the best hustles.  My best friends Sapphire and Rose are half my age and they always get the best corners, but I create this aura up on the bridge at night.
 
I have this secluded look as I meander in search of the helpless, desparate ones in this foggy landscape with my Bette Davis hat, smoking.  It drives them mad.  I've really learned that there's a structure to this business.  That's irrelevant.  I'm lucky to still be working.
 
"Hey, Sailor, can you lend me a few bucks?  I'll make it worth your while."  That one always works.  He approached slowly - gazing as I exhaled smoke.  "You have to agree to my terms, Sir."  He nodded excitedly as I opened my purse and put out my hand.  "Money in advance, Baby."

I don't know why I ever decided to get into politics, but it's been good to me.  Sleazy, but good.  Lobbying is a good game.

Comments

I kept it around 180 and used all the words and hopefully got a giggle during this mid-term election season.

---

Great story giraffe and it did give me a giggle.  You put a lot into so few words.  The only thing I got stuck on was the sentence with "as I meander helpless".  I truly don't think helpless would be a descriptive I would use for this character.  She seems very diligent and aware of what her aims are.

---

Good point, Doug.  I was trying to portray the hapless, old whore until the thing changed directions on me.  Let me edit that sentence.  I fixed it.  My subtle point was the question 'Who pays whom?  The lobbyist or the person being lobbied?'

---

Good job giraffe!  It was a good read, and I did chuckle.  ;)

Answer 4

I meander through this secluded rosy landscape,
an irrelevent creation myself, of no structured aim,
no other aim than that distant sapphire bridge
that is going to lend me wings to get out of here...

Comments

Welcome to ThinkWrite sibyl.  I hope you enjoy.  It would probably be helpful to take a bit of time and read a few of the "threads" and you'll get a general idea of how it all works.  If you have any questions ask and one of us will help.  This thread is the original ThinkWrite challenge thread that started all of this.  I guess we grew too big, so ThinkDraw gave us our own website to play on.  The ThinkWrite challenge consists of a 10 word list that you must include in your story and a word count (limit).  Have fun!

---

Excellent X3, Sibyl.  I really enjoyed this.  Very good prose, break all the rules you want if you can get this type of quality.

---

Welcome to ThinkWrite sibyl!!  It's always nice to have some newcomers.  It wasn't all that long ago that I was new to TW..
Anyways, nice job, I enjoyed it and you used the words well.  Keep it up!

---

Very nice. Keep writing!

Answer 5

176 including title..


Backdrop to the Unseen

A secluded landscape with sapphire points of light dancing amongst the blackened forest becomes the backdrop to a most interesting scene.  Elk with racks as big as giants meander along the mossy stream lending a majestic touch.  Wisps of translucent orbs flutter across an old wooden bridge, gathering in the center of the small field creating a brilliant light.  The shapes of rose petals with a soft ruby hue are mere shadows cast off by the ball of light in the field.  Structure doesn’t challenge the mind and is irrelevant; beauty lends credence to chaos found in hidden places only revealed to those who truly want to see. A creation of chaotic beauty lies in the field of the unseen, the untouched and the unbelievable.  Lend your mind to the uncomfortable feelings inside you and you will see the rainbow of visions that only a few can.  Escape to the only place where peace and comfort can find you.

I began this journey looking for those lost.   I think I found them...here.

Comments

Ummm.. doug... wow?  That was good... I think it reminded me of something I once wrote, kind of the same idea and... very, very good job.  :)

---

Very powerful, Doug.  It's like the quest for an unknown sanity we all have.  Our search for compatibilty often includes understanding the "lostness" in others.

---

...or in ourselves.

---

There's an old folk song:  "If somehow you could cast off your sorrows and give them all to me, you would lose them, I know how to use them.  Give them all to me."

Answer 6

200 words, not including the title. And just for fun. I really shouldn't be responding. But work is sucking so bad right now...urgh!

"The battle"

“I was your king,” he said, surveying the landscape. “Ruler of all I could see. And you, you were my queen.” He broke down into wracking sobs. The beast beneath him snorted and pawed at the ground, anxious. “You gave my life meaning, structure. Now you’re gone, your body broken, crushed underfoot…it seems irrelevant.” Here he paused, lending weight and gravity to the speech. He surveyed the troops ranged out behind him, by the side of a slowly meandering stream. A little in front, and situated on a natural bridge, he could see them clearly, and they could see him. “Your death will not go unavenged, and your life will not have been in vain!” A cheer rose from the assembled army. The king had succeeded in creating a fervour, and from this secluded spot, they would launch their attack. He reached down and patted the sapphire flank of his mount, raised his weapon and turned in his saddle. He was ready to issue the battle cry, when something descended from the sky. He looked up, and whispered: “My queen, I join you soon!”

Looking down, John barely gave a thought to the colony of insects he’d just stepped on.

Comments

Now that definately was a chuckle!  Good one Morshy!

---

Niiice. It was good until the last sentence. Then it became excellent.

---

Glad you're still here on the playground.

---

Awesome job, Morshy!   That definately made me laugh (which can be hard)!!  Good work

Answer 7

Just a bit of practice and about 36 words over.  I do apologize.

In the Palm of My Hand

Extruding the positive in everything I offer my hand to you kind sir.  I give quite a good handshake ya’ know, not one of those limp wrested wango tango jobs that the femm boys dish out.  I’ll lend you my last nickel too if that’s what you need.  Lets find a secluded spot and do the merry go round a few times.  Bet ya’ my last dollar I can turn you into a chump for some change.  Meandering through the alley ways I search for my next foil after pummeling Missy LimpWrist into submission.  Vaulting out of the dumpster I was passing was a giant rat which scared the hell out of me.  If I had met the demon on the Golden Gate (bridge) I would have leapt to my death and sunk like a ton of gold.  As it is I threw one of my sapphire stares at the beast and it halted, and scampered away like the vermin it was.  I am the wanderer.  I have no structure to my life except to take it like it comes rising above the din of the traffic, dodging creatively conniving critters, and trying to lay low as to not be recognized.  My name is irrelevant.  You will find me in every city from Pittsburgh to Peoria.  Go ahead…I dare you…travel my landscape, a place filled with pain and pleasure, purpose and position and shake my hand firmly please.

Comments

doug... let's just say that I rarely feel like I'm the person in the story, but this time.. I did.  Very good job.

---

I'll shake your hand and squeeze it so hard that blood pumps out of your fingernails.  Now where did that come from?

Answer 8

176 words no title

The landscape surrounding the park seemed so structured.
I stood barefoot in the plush green grass
and could not imagine living in that concrete jungle.
I took a deep breath and exhaled a heavy sigh.

My room mate had lent me his dress shoes earlier in the week for
something irrelevant to my mission on this day.
The world my father lived in was so stressful, such a rat race, so rigid and so opposite of mine
So today I wore them again attempting to create an image very unlike myself.
He would have wanted it that way. "Sorry dad," I said "but they had to come off."  
"Now we shall meander this secluded garden amidst the city one last time.
then I will find the perfect spot. A place for you to rest in peace."

The Bridge crossing the water seemed so structured.
"I love you dad" I said while pouring his ashes from the sapphire blue urn.
As I walked away , I stopped to smell the roses.
I took a deep breath and exhaled a heavy sigh.

Comments

Something drew me in, not sure what it was, but since I rarely get drawn into stories, I applaud you.  :D  Good work!

---

Thank you ladyhwin. funny thing I love the city life,though my house is in the country. Loving life there too.

---

Sad, but sweet.

Answer 9

*bows*..... another horse dream for you, giraffe.  Waaay below word count, at 82 words.  And written from  my own experiance...


Meandering through forest and wood, breathing in the fresh evening air.
Standing still beneath a sapphire and rose sky, watching the sunset.
Running along the horizon, crossing the bridge from happiness to bliss.
Dismissing all else as irrelevant, thinking only of the beautiful structure of the surrounding landscape.
Flying on wings lent to you by your mount and partner, secluded from the all others, merely two beings alone in the world, creating a new dimension of brilliance.
Wandering.
Wondering.
Laughing.
Living.
Galloping.

Comments

Nice, Lady.  Thanks.  I especially like the bridge 'tween happiness and bliss.  It could be like that if people pulled their heads out of their armpits.

Answer 10

“58 Words” by Ron

He wanted a secluded landscape. It’s irrelevant but I put a rose bush here: And another there. He can meander between the two. He wants me to create a garden – to lend him some credence.  What structure to the white man’s garden should I create? Perhaps a bridge would be nice. I’m thinking ‘sapphire’. They like sapphire right?

Comments

It's a joke. Didn't someone say "58"?

---

No.  They said Heinz 57.  You're over by one word.  I like the concept of a white man meandering in a garden with 2 bushes in it that confuses the gardener of some other race.  Bonzai anyone?

---

Interesting concept, Ron.. I liked it!  Good work.

---

No - it's thinkwrite challenge LVIII. That's 58. And It's the white man who is, perhaps, confused. You should read better. The gardner is not confused. Not at all. And it is in at LVIII.

---

Oh yes - I think the words are in order too. Yay!

---

I should read better?  You should learn to take a joke.  Nobody said Heinz 57 and the gardener was "at a loss" for what to do next.  Lighten up.

---

Giraffe - YOU said Heinz 57 and the gardner is not confused. Notice the use of "He" and "I". The slave owner doesn't know what he wants so the black gardner is making decisions on his behalf. Really - you can't read either? Not even 58 words? And, again, YOU said Heinz 57... And why did you put "at a loss" in quotes? It doesn't appear anywhere in the story. So why? Oh yes - you'll say I'm bullying you without ever answering these questions.

You say "Nobody said Heinz 57" when you actually said it four comments before.
You said the gardner was confused.
I wrote the story and said he was not.
You quoted text "at a loss" to prove your point and continue your argument but "at a loss" was not in the story.

Yes - you should read better.

---

You've said it all.