Sad Love Story

Question

I'm looking for sad love stories, as with all of my challenges, no word limit, no set words, or anything like that. Let's see it.

Answer 1

SHORT AFFAIR

Sammy was the kind of guy who didn't give a damn about anybody.  He was a cute, sexy Italian who got in a lot of fights, but he had passion.  He wouldn't trade that for being the King of England.  He wasn't very smart and he was dirt poor, but he got laid a lot more often than the King.  His life was richer.

Annabelle was the oposite - raised in private schools,  debutante ball, sorority type.  When these two opposites attracted, it was like a bolt of lightning.  They were at the train station.  It was raining in sheets.  They ran smack into each other from opposite directions and both fell down on the platform.

Their first reaction was to laugh at the silliness of laying there in the rain in front of everybody.  They tried to get up, then slipped back down laughing the whole time.  They caught a glimpse of each other's eyes.  Hers were a soft, lovely blue and his were Mediteranean brown.

They felt a strong need to be nearer to each other.  Just as they reached out to touch hands, another sheet of rain washed them off of the platform onto the track.  The oncoming train squished them like bugs.  Someone used his cell phone to call security and the rest just got on the train.

Annabelle's privelege and wealth had just collided with Sammy's pride and poverty.  It's a sad way to end such a short-lived love .......

Comments

I like how you managed to tell the full story in a few paragraphs. It has a perfect dose of both romance and tragedy. Good job.

Answer 2

The lost love


The sky grew dark as dusk settled upon Eden’s field.  A sobbing woman stands at the foot of a headstone.  The loose dirt from the freshly covered grave causes her to swoon and almost collapse.  She is still holding the bouquet from the wedding she would never have.  Her love lies below in a metal box already cold from its earthen tomb.

Why?

Loved for the first time
Lost forever in the cold earth
My love is gone
Sealed in the coffin below.

It was our wedding day…Why?

Comments

Wow!!!! I loved it!! It's really sad, but I love sad stories! :-)
I love the third sentence and It made me feel like I was there!!

Great job!

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I agree with doglover.  So much said in so few words.

Answer 3

Broken Dreams and Jealous Hearts (I'm horrible at coming up with Titles btw)

Elvira was a lucky bride, with her perfect Prince Charming waiting for her at the alter as she delicately walked down the isle, chin held high and a bouquet of cherry-red roses in her hands.

     With a dazzling smile, she couldn't help but giggle as she approached Eric, her husband-to-be. They were married at the grand cathedral made of glass, and Elvira was more than ready to step into a whole new life with Eric by her side.

     They planned a honeymoon trip at a quaint little cabin in the Colorado mountains, eager to get away for a while from their everyday lives.

     As they arrived, Eric began to unpack and Elvira put everything away.

     "Well, it looks like tonight will be pretty stormy," Eric said, disapointed as he watched the gray clouds float by. "I was hoping for some good weather."

     "Oh, it'll be alright . . . as long as we're together," Elvira said, a faint smile forming on her lips. "Well, let's get unpacked and I'll start cooking dinner."

     As they ate a hearty dinner, The rain began to pour harder and harder, and the sky grew dark as dusk approached. Lightening flashed and thunder roared as the night progressed.

     It was roughly 11:00 pm when they heard a pounding on the door as they were getting ready for bed. Startled, Eric creeped to the window, making sure he stayed low to the ground. As he neared the front door, he grabbed a large cooking pot from the stove, and held it in a death grip.

     Who could possibly come at this hour? In the mountains of all places? And on a night like THIS? Could it be some one lost that needs help?

     These thoughts rushed through his mind like a subway train, but never landing on one conclusion. Finally, Eric approached the door, his nerves tense as he slowly turned the handle.

     But as soon as he slightly creaked open the door, the person behind it opened it with full force, knocking Eric off balance and sending in sheets of ice-cold rain.

     Elvira screamed as she saw the towering figure enter the livingroom. Eric got back on his feet and was a bout to strike at the intruder when a glint of light reflected off a piece of shiny metal; a knife. no, not a knife; a dagger with a razor-sharp point.

     The intruder gave out a low chuckle which echoed hauntingly throughout the house and sounded as if it came through every room in the cabin. "You really thought you could get away?" The shadowed figure spat through clenched teeth.

     "T-To-Tom?" Elvira asked in disbelieving fear. "Is that you, Tom?"

     "Who else would it be. If you think you could lead me on and pretend you love me then dump me like unwanted trash--- on our WEDDING day af all days---  then you've got so much to learn." The man threateningly stepped forword.

     "Stay away from her! I have no idea who you are but you have no right to be here . . . so LEAVE!!" Eric proclaimed, trying to defend his bride, but Elvira could still hear a slight quiver of fear in his voice.

     "Well you are what caused all this trouble in the first place! . . . I should have gotten rid of you when I had the chance!" Tom said to Eric in disgust, now holding the dagger so tight his knuckles were white.

     "Please no! I was the one who chose him over you! HE had nothing to do with OUR dispute!" Cried Elvira in efforts to stop Tom.

     "You know, you're right. YOU are the one who caused all my grief, so you shall pay!" Tom whispered, his eyes focusing in on his prey.

     "Over my dead body!" screamed Eric in protest. Tom paused and seemed to consider what Eric said.

     "Well . . . if you say so," He said as he hurled the dagger through the air and watched it sink with a thud through his heart.

     "NOOOOOO!!!!" Screamed Elvira as she saw Eric sink to the floor with tremendous pain visible on his dying face, though he looked as though he didn't believe what had just happened.

     Tom slowly walked over to Eric, reached down, and pulled the dagger out of his shirt, the blood still dripping off the tip of the blade. Without a second thought, he was running towards Elvira and threw the small dagger ahead of him. It pierced her with the same force as it did with Eric.

     Erica felt excrutiating pain shoot through her body as the knife made contact with her stomach. Unable to believe what had just happened, she yanked the dagger out of her, and threw it towards the place she last saw Tom, but he had already fled out the front door.

     The world started to turn slowly, and her vision was slowly blacking out.

     The last sight Elvira ever saw was of Eric, his bloodied, slouched body sitting on her wedding dress, head slumped over.

     The dreams  and goals Eric and Elvira had planned for their bright future were exterminated forever,
all due to a jealous heart,
an unforgiving fiance of the past.

Comments

Sorry it's kind of corny, but I only had around 20 minutes of freetime to write it, and I had to stick an ending on it 'cause I ran out of time which is why the ending is pretty abrupt. I'll try to edit it later. :-D

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I can tell it was a bit rushed by the typos.  I think it could have used more editing to get it down to a more concise story that would have suited the frantic pace of the drama.  I would have eliminated the "They had planned to stay for a week,... as that was already going to be fleshed out by the story itself.  Editing is always the key.  It's great you stuck around.  You have a lot of talent to show us.

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Thanks! Yeah now that I look at it, it DOES need alot of editing . . . but thanks for the feedback!!! I'll keep trying to improve!! :-D

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I revised it a little bit, but I didn't have enough time to like redo the whole thing which I was hoping to do. . . but oh well . . . at least I tried :-D

Answer 4

A Broken Heart is  Not Forgetable
                                                                                                                          This story starts out as a quite normal life. Im a 16 year old girl living in England. This is my story. I was at my dance recital all the way in Virginia. I couldnt take my family or friends to Virginia. I was staring at the crowd of 700 people standing infront of me. I twirled and spinned and the crowd clapped. He was in the crowd. With his blue eyes and his black hair. When i looked him in the eyes  he smiled the most cutest smile. I got off after the show and he was backstage. He asked me for a dinner date at Don Pablos. We ate and ate and almost threw up. But then 10 years later he had to go to the army. I was 26 then and i got a note informed that my boyfriend was dead. We would never have are first kid.40 years later i died next to my husbands grave. Before i died, i looked at his grave and fell asleep forever.

Comments

At first I thought this was, like, a true story, but then when you mentioned yourself dying I wasn't so sure if the rest of it was. I kind of like that effect. :-D
This is a great story, and if you expand on it and give more details, then it would be even better . . . great job! :-D

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thanks i really like this one. I am not16 im younger

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Really?! well I'm turning 16 in exactly 2 days . . . on October 20!! I'm still in high school (obviously) :-( I can't wait till I'm in college!!! . . . so how old are you? because this poem was pretty good for some one younger than 12 (My cousin's age btw :-D)

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oh i am 9 but on October 26 ill be 10

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I thought for a long time what I'm going to write in this comment, because I wasn't sure if you'd benefit from it. But then I realized that the main reason I was hesitating was your age and since everyone else's age is unknown and doesn't affect comments, I thought I owed you the same.
First of all, I really like your writing. I could just as easily say your story was good and let that be the end of it. But, there are a few things that could make your stories even better. You'd figure this all out on your own, but one of the advantages of this site is that we can all learn from each other and don't have to spend years learning things by ourselves.  Ok, I'll stop babbling now and get to the point. xP
1. Try to pay attention to grammar and spelling. Sometimes those errors can make your stories harder to understand. That's not the case with this story, though. The one thing that really sticks out here is the small "i".
2. Try to avoid repeating words where it's not necessary, like you did with "Virginia" and "This story". Instead try to use a different word or say what you wanted to say in a different way.  You'll notice that it makes the story sound better. This also applies to the ending of your story, where the last two sentences say almost the same thing. You could try and put those two together.
3. Superlatives are made by either adding -est (like in "cutest") or most (like in "most beautiful"), you can't use both ("most cutest"). This was probably just an accident, but since some people use that often, I wanted to bring it up anyway.
4. I noticed you used the word "boyfriend" in one sentence and "husband" in the next. I assume you're talking about the same person.
Sorry for being so hard on you. If you're only writing to pass the time then please ignore everything I said. But, if you want to improve your writing I hope it was helpful. And by all means, keep writing. You have things to say and you know how to say them. This is all just final touches. :) And don't hesitate to comment on my writing, because I want to learn from you as well.

Answer 5

Not sure if this fits here, but we are losing one of our cats.   He only has a day or two we guess.

Having reached the pinnacle of existence
A long life or brief stay
A difference has been made
Just by your mere presence.

Playfulness unbounded by your surroundings
Caught up in the fervor of a simple string
A couch used as a scratching post
Moving food bowls for fun.

As you take your last breaths
With the love of all of us
Surrounding you and stroking your chin
You will be missed.

Comments

. . . wow I love it. And yes it does fit here, because love for animals can be as strong, if not stronger than love for other human beings.

I had to put down my own dog in December, so I know it's tough . . . It was the hardest decision I ever had to make, and I remember those last few days I had with her-- Baltsy was her name-- and I remember how grieved I was when we had to put her down . . .

I was devistated, and I remember thinking she could never be replaced . . . she STILL can never be replaced.

It was as heartbreaking as losing a loved one because she was a member of the family and . . . yeah I miss her terribly, so I know where you're coming from . . .

I'll have your family in my thoughts and prayers.

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Thanks doglover.  He has a brother (from the same litter) and our dog Harley.  Oreo was the one I picked out of the litter.  It was my decision to let him "go" here at home.  He's comfortable, but it's a matter of time.  Thank you for your kind words.

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Beautiful.
I'm sorry to hear about your cat, but at least he had a loving family to live in.

Answer 6

So, I entered this story for another challenge called 'A Romantic Challenge'. It was my 3rd one for that challenge! I just couldn't help it!
BTW, so you guys don't get muddled up, the girl who is telling the story is called Maya. 
The story is called...

Maya's Story

I waited and waited. I waited, for my crush to ask me out. We were in 10th grade already, and still he hadn't asked me out. I have had a crush on him since, like 3rd grade. Everytime he saw me, I felt like he was avoiding me deliberately. He always got my name wrong, said "whatever," bumped into me purposely. I sometimes felt maybe he does like me, but he's too shy to say it as well. But then I get a feeling and sort of a little shake and say, maybe it's just me. Why will a hot, handsome and good-looking guy like me? Why would he be shy of asking me, when i'm shy of asking him? Now we're like 21 and I have no idea where he is. I am heartbroken. I cry and cry and cry. My best friend kept giving me tissues! My eye-liner got smudged and stuff.

The next day, I see him back in college and I feel relieved. But it's been years and years since I've had a crush on him. There's no hope that he will ask me out now, if he hasn't in the past years. Every time I got a purpose I declined them because I knew Avan (my crush) will ask me out someday. He still avoids me. So I lose hope and I get another cute guy who was the second most handsome guy in the year for the homecoming dance. 
Our Prom night was coming closer. I got sadder and sadder. I had no guy to go with, my hope with Avan had shattered already. 
Now its Prom Night and still, I haven't got a guy for the dance. I have no idea who Avan is going with. I lie down on my bed, thinking and thinking.... until I fell asleep. 
A phone call woke me up. It was Dani, my friend. I told her I wasn't going. She got sad, and hung up. 
Soon I got a phone call. It was Beck the second cutest guy I went to the homecoming dance with. He asked me for the dance. I said 'yes', having no idea what I just said. 
So I went to Prom Night, in his car. It was quite a good drive. I think we were getting closer! But I still liked Avan more. 
We enter the big ballroom and there was no sign of Avan. I stand there .... 
A phone calls and Beck's mood suddenly changes. "I'm so sorry... I, I gotta go, very urgently and immediately. I am very sorry, I wanted us to work out. I told him I can't but I have to. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow at college and maybe we can arrange another date, so sorry, again," he said. He left. I was left alone. I started crying, watching people with their dates. 

"Hey, I thought we were one. Wanna dance?" I peer up to see Avan. I cheered up. So Prom Night turned from disaster to romance. We were one! We were one! He was sooo cute. It was just like our first date! 

Ever since then, we've been going out. 

The next day I go to college, to find that Avan wasn't there. I find out that Avan died in an accident last night. :( He got ran over by a big lorry, when he was on his bike :(
I go to the place it happened, where their were flowers everywhere. I started crying. I knelt down and kissed the spot where it happened. People started looking at me. I see a big lorry coming and a bike. I scream... I look up to see nothing, but people staring at me. It was just my imagination. I then see a big lorry. I was willing to commit sucide. If there was no longer Avan, then there was no longer me. I stood up. I see the lorry coming closer and closer every moment, and there it was. Just an inch away... and...
BANNNNNNGGGG!
My eyes were shut tight. I look up to see two women who dragged me away. "Why did you do that, dear? You dont want a horrible death like my son. I suppose you are from his college?"
I stood there, speechless. I said nothing. I wanted to say something, lots but my mouth froze. I was in shock.
The two women pat me. "Are you ok?"
"Yes, yes... No, sorry. Erm, sorry to hear about your son. Yes, yes.. I was erm.. his... I suppose his girlfriend. Did he tell you?"
"Oh yes yes..... " The women started crying. The other women took her away.

I was still in shock.

THe next day, Avan's mother came to my house. I ask her how she found out where I live? She says "I found a message from Avan's phone.." 
"oh right"...
Avan's mother says that she was just going through Avan's things and she came to a letter. .. ..... "I thought you would like to have a look at this. I thought you should know that Avan...." She gave me a little note. I read it,,,it said...

Tommorow, 23/06/2010... Propose to Maya !! I am nervous, and I hope she accepts! I wish to get married with her...

I started to cry once I saw it. I went to Avan's house, when his mother took me, to see some of his stuff. And she let me keep some things as a memory and she kept most. We both got sadder and sadder as we saw more things. 
The next thing, was the computer and his emails. He was already logged on so we checked an email. It was from Mason (Avan's friend) I read it and it said...

So you gonna propose to Maya? How exciting? You gonna marry!!! hehe you nervous? Maya's beauitful you stole her, man. I wanted to marry her LOL only joking! Man, you so lucky, I wish I had a girlfriend that beautiful! I start to cry, more and more...

Now it has been a year or so since Avan's death. I have gotten back together with Beck but I have still never forgotten Avan. I will always keep him in my heart. I have saved his email account, I changed the password. Only me and his mother know it. We keep it as a memory. I kept his little note forever and never lost it. I hope he is resting in peace 

AVAN, I LOVED YOU, I STILL LOVE YOU AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! I just wish you could have been alive till at least until you proposed to me. I always longed to hear you propose to me! :( But that can't happen now... :( I am so sad about it. But if your soul or spirit is out there, i love you still avan! and i want you to know that! xx

THE END!  Hope u like all of mine and no, It's not true I made It all up! and Maya is the character who is saying it and who loves avan and that...... thank you! x